the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
