Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
