I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
