Have you finally orgasmed yet?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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