yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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