i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
