VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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