Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
