Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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