he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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