the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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