You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
