Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
