Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
