i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
