Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Randomize
