do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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