I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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