Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
