This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
should my penis look like a turkey
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
