you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
