You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
