I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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