I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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