dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Quick, to the slutcave!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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