if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
