my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
