Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
