I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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