Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
