Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
