In the future we'll all be gay
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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