very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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