I'm lost and stupid without you.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
