Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
