What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
love makes seman taste better
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
