Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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