ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
