Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
