i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
