A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
we're so committed to being not committed
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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