I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
