SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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