Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
