i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
