how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
3pm strippers are depressing
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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