Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
