Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
