Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Michael Bay diarrhea
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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