i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
